


Indifferent

by WisdomDeath



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 21:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WisdomDeath/pseuds/WisdomDeath
Summary: "Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike."





	Indifferent

It had been a month since you confessed to Ushijima Wakatoshi, the captain of the Volleyball Club in Shiratorizawa Academy. It had also been a month since he agreed to be your boyfriend, answering you with just a nod. 

You were incredibly happy especially since your friends told you that you did not stand a chance, considering Ushijima’s indifferent attitude towards everyone. To be completely honest, you had no clue why he even agreed to become your boyfriend. For a month, you tried to understand how you ended in such situation, but you just could not figure it out. Ushijima was not really the touchy kind of person nor the one who would say something sweet. Most of the time that you spend together was just of you talking about whichever you like, with Ushijima giving short comments every now and then. 

After a month, you grew tired of the same routine. You started to talk less and spent less time with him. Somehow, you felt like you misunderstood him when you confessed. Maybe he did not agree to be your boyfriend and that maybe he was just too nice to snap at you. With that realization came the horrible feelings that surged through your veins in random moments during your whole day. 

As you stared outside the window beside you, the teacher’s voice faded from your focus. Your heart was pounding as if it was begging you to let it escape from your chest. Breathing seemed to hurt, too. You looked back at your teacher who was still talking despite having students who were not listening.

_ Was this how he felt when I talked to him? _ You tried think of the times that you spent together with you just...talking.  _ Did he realize that he couldn’t tolerate me at all? _

The very moment the bell rang, you rushed to the gym where you were sure to see him. As you watched him during their practice, you could not resist yourself from smiling. You love how Ushijima was so focused because you saw passion burning in his eyes. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi seemed so perfect in your eyes, and it made your heart ache to see the guy you are in love with when you were aware, that he might never return your feelings the way you wanted him to do so. As you felt tears welling up at the corner of your eyes, you turned on your heels and started to walk away. 

Meanwhile, practice just ended for the Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club. Everyone was preparing to go home when Satori Tendō opened his mouth to ask Ushijima the question no one dared to ask. “Where’s your little girlfriend, Wakatoshi?” 

Ushijima remained composed but did not answer. Honestly, he felt like he lost you but he was clueless as to what he had to do. He knew he could have asked someone but he did not know what to specifically ask. He thought you would go back to your upbeat self but every single day that passed, he just noticed how you started to move farther away from him. 

“Did you break up or something? Ooh! Relationships aren’t like volleyball, Wakatoshi. It’s not really a good idea to break a girl’s heart and spirit.” Tendō did not pick up the atmosphere that surrounded them. 

Ushijima nodded. Even though his face showed such an indifferent expression, he felt otherwise. He could feel guilt nibbling on his chest.  _ Why did I let this happen?  _ He felt like he ruined one of the few people who tolerated him. 

When Ushijima walked out, he saw you sitting on one of the benches with your head hung low. The closer he walked, the more he saw your shoulders trembled as you sobbed. He was not shocked at all. He knew he hurt you bad enough. He was terrified that you would not give him a chance, but he could not really blame you. 

When you felt someone sat beside you, the person’s aura screamed it was Ushijima. Your body stiffened the moment your shoulders touched, but all he could think of was how he could feel you tremble. 

“Umm…” His deep voice struck something in you that just made you feel like you wanted to cry more. 

_ What do you want from me now?  _ You thought. You wanted to speak but when you opened your mouth, only a squeak was able to escape. 

Ushijima scratched the back of his neck. He did not know if what he would say would even make sense. He felt like he was going to make things worse, but just remembering what Tendō said made him determined to fix his relationship with you.

“[First name], I’m sorry.” 

With that, you felt as if the world started to move slowly until it stopped. Your sobbing started to stop as well. “D-Don’t. You don’t h-have to--”

Hearing your voice that once was filled with life but then so weak, Ushijima forgot why he was even scared to talk about his feelings. If being indifferent would cause you to lose yourself, he was willing to try harder. “But I want to. I love you but I just don’t know how to express it. This is new to me. I have no idea what I have to do to be a good boyfriend since all I've really known is how to be a good volleyball player.”

You did not know if you heard him properly. You looked at him and funny enough, he was looking at you. Ushijima’s eyes widened slightly upon seeing how messed up you looked—your eyes were swollen and red, your cheeks were covered in tears, and your hair was a disaster. 

Ushijima shifted to face you. He felt the sudden urge to touch you. Normally he would push that urge away but at that moment, he felt like he should try to give in to such urges. He held your face in both hands as he wiped your tear-stained cheeks with his thumb. “I’m sorry to have caused you such sadness. I didn’t really mean to.”

Your heart pounded with everything he said. You slowly felt yourself smile as you put your hands on top of his’, which still held your face. 

With that, Ushijima felt something fluttered in his stomach which, of course, he could not recognize. 

“There’s a smile I haven’t seen a while.” 

Your cheeks turned red but you were glad his large hands covered it. “D-Don’t say things like that when we're outside.” 

After a while, you decided to head home. Ushijima even walked you to your house and that was when you noticed how Ushijima was talking a bit more than he used to. It was not that much, but it was something. At that moment, Ushijima realized that with you, he could just loosen up and let himself follow some of his urges. 

One example would be how he took your hands in his huge and strong hands as you walked. He felt like a kid but…

_ This feels good...and right. _


End file.
